Tinker, tailor, banker... W**nker?

Matthew Reeves explains why villian of the moment, Sir Freddy G, deserves every penny of his pension.

Thingy Goodwin! What a tinker, what an arrogant tinker. All he did was work exceptionally hard for his entire life; become the CEO of one of the UK's largest banks whilst earning himself the title of "European Banker of the Year" and a Knighthood for his Services to Banking and now he expects to receive his pension. Doesn't it make you sick? Well... no, not really.

I understand that RBS has managed to make some quite fantastic losses and that Fred's pension is rather large but can you really confiscate a lifetimes worth of pension payments? I fear not. The problem with this recession - aside from the unemployment, job insecurity and bad weather - is the endless game of blame ping pong. One week it'll be Gordon Brown's fault, and then the Treasury's and now the bankers' as each of the parties bat the ball across the net. Sadly the game is two on one, with Downing Street and treasury playing doubles against the banks.

The whole debacle is nothing more than jealousy over pay; you only need to read a few of John Prescott's press statements and it becomes blindingly obvious. "He's entitled to some pension, obviously, because that pension pot came from other employment. I think we recognise that; it's just the sheer arrogance of it." Change the word "arrogance" to "size" and you can really see what Big P means, and I can empathise with him; I've made volumes worth of bad decisions and never been offered so much as a penny for them. I suppose some people are just lucky. Prezza goes on to say that he can't abide such a large pension as a "reward for failure". Again, I admit RBS has made some failures but a pension doesn't work that way. Imagine it in any other context. Take Doris who's been dutifully stocking the Woolworths Pic'n'Mix for 20 years, you couldn't possibly take away her pension. A pension isn't a reward for success or failure. If anything it's a reward for evading death.

Banks are run by the intelligent masses and are the fundamental building blocks of our society, without them there'd be a whole deal fewer mortgages and loans and a whole lot more people still living with their mums. So what if individual bankers are getting paid handsome sums? At least they are providing society with something, unlike the effing 2012 Olympics.

I cannot for the life of me understand what all the fuss is about and in terms of making mistakes the Government have really excelled themselves. The costs are constantly rising, so far the Olympic Park's cost has increased by £100m, the Velodrome by £25m and the Olympic Stadium by £50m It's so financially crippling that it makes you wish Paris had it instead.

"Great sporting facilities for generations of children in London". Cheers chaps, I'm not a child in London. Even if I was a nice young chap growing up in Brixton I can guarantee I wouldn't be racing down to the £105m Velodrome at the weekend, no matter how much I liked riding my BMX. Surely the £10 billion Olympic budget can be spent on something more beneficial than a big sports day? £10bn split between everyone in the UK gets us all about £200 each, if you are concerned about the health of the British people you could maybe buy us a few months gym membership. It'd go on for about as long the Olympics and we could all pretend to be athletes for a while.

So when 2012 rolls around I'll still be found grumbling about how busy the tube is and how Paris should have had it all along. Fred will be watching the pole vaulting from his villa in Tuscany and John Prescott happy with his diving pool he'll never use. One thing will be certain; everybody will be proud of their mistakes.

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